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The Ruffin Scenario...

Last edit: blackjacker1979 on Monday, 22nd November 2010 9:59 pm
Last response by blackjacker1979 27th November 6:30pm

Hypothetical situaion. Phil "The Man" Ruffin buys your favorite resort as a bargain/rape of the land deal. Tell me what he does to class it up. Think Gilley's, TI Bling Co, and Christian Audigier (Inherited, boo.)

Name the resort, the original space, and then the change.

Ready, set, RUFFIN!

(OK I'll go first.)

Bellagio, Fontana Lounge, Adds peanut service, sawdust on floor and another world famous mechanical bull in the center of the room. Rechristens it as the Funtucky Lounge and Bar and Grill.

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 TIavEN responded on Monday, 22nd November 2010

Parasol at Wynn: gets rid of the parasols and replaces them with cowboy hats and boots, replaces mosaic flooring with an advertisement for jack daniels, and puts a mechanical bull on an island in the lake of dreams.

 MinVegas responded on Monday, 22nd November 2010

Encore: Rebrands luxury hotel as party pit for the Drink Til You Puke set. Hires country star for showroom.

 Chuckmonster replied on Monday, 22nd November 2010

Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk

 StudiodeKadent responded on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

I should clarify I actually have some respect for Ruffin as a businessman, and I don't think there's anything EVIL with, ahem "sex sells" marketing. But it doesn't work at every property.

On to my response.

Property: Aria.

Adds more lighting around the outside of the joint and rechristens it "The Dutch Brothel." Rooms on the lower levels of the place are rented out by the hour and all the curtains are removed from these rooms. When not being used, strippers gyrate inside said rooms, often pressing their breasts or buttocks against the clear glass.

Julian Serrano becomes a Mexican joint with all servers being prostitutes from Tijuana in very low cut shirts several sizes too small. Tequila shots are served with the shot glasses being tucked in the ladies' cleavages.

Ruffin also buys out Hooters. Hooters Las Vegas is relocated to where Union used to be.

Sky Suites get mirrors on the ceiling and in-room bondage kits (comprising fluffy handcuffs and a blindfold) are avaliable on the mini-bar.

In all other rooms, the box of chocolate chip cookies (which suck! Really, I loved Aria but those choc chip cookies are terrible) is now a box of condoms.

Cocktail waitresses are stripped down to heels, stockings, suspender belt, g-string and pasties.

The fountain outside the porte-cochere is replaced with a stage where (surprise) strippers are dancing most of the day.

The Vanilla-sandalwood scent of the lobby is replaced with "Curious" by Britney Spears.

Cesar Pelli sees what's been done to the joint, and is either 1) driven to suicide, or 2) overjoyed, covers himself in honey and is thrown in jail after being discovered naked and lying on one of the Craps tables.

 Chuckmonster replied on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

I think veer would be a much better candidate for being a brothel than aria. Vegas needs a red light district and a grey area!

 nullzero00 replied on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

"Cocktail waitresses are stripped down to heels, stockings, suspender belt, g-string and pasties."

i'm in.

 RockChickX51 replied on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

I'm totally down for the chicks in pasties.

 Misnomer responded on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

Ruffin buys the Venetian. Gondolas are removed, and canals are used for swamp buggy races. St. Mark's Square gets corporate sponsorship and becomes St. Mike's Hard Lemonade Square. Thomas Keller out, Paula Dean in. New show debuts: Phantom of the Grand Ole Opry.

 BigHoss replied on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

Har, har. Blue Man Group is replaced by Brown Teeth Guys. All-NASCAR-all-the-time sportsbook allows you to bet on your favorite classic races -- house edge boosted because diehard fans insist on betting for Dale #3 even though the book knows he didn't win.

 Misnomer replied on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

Blasphemer! No. 3 always wins, except on the rare occasion when he's beaten by Richard Petty!

 MinVegas responded on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

Bill's Gamblin' Hall & Saloon: No changes.

 jinx73 responded on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

Wynn: He lays off all male members of the cast of Le Reve, advises females that instead of acrobatics, they now will you their athletic ability during Sunday night mud wrestling. They use the old Le Reve stadium to keep the seating in the round.

He demands that Garth Brooks now come on stage with a banjo rather then a guitar and there must be at least one Conway Twitty song played during his show.

The shopping area is remodeled completely, with a 'working class' gambling area, all tiling is removed and replaced with pergo hardwood floors (have to keep it classy you know). Craps tables are brought in with minimums of a $1, the rest of the casino is left untouched, as Phil feels he's quite capable of 'maintaining' that. In the 'working class' pit area, they bring in soda and kegs that are self service as well. Waitresses are outfitted in chaps and cowboy boots, with barely there tops.

In an effort to remove XS and Surrender from the property, they decide to start offering all you can eat BBQ to their high end clientele from the working class pit. Since those places aren't really what Phil wants on his property he decides to make them 'fit' his perception of high end.

Lastly the Lake of Dreams is completely revamped. A plexiglass piece is added with strobe and black lights with a mechanical bull now strutting out through the lake. An air horn sounds at the beginning of the show, moving into a Hank Williams special to Wynn(Ruffinville) created piece that evokes memories of Monday night football, as the waterfall pours down over the barely clad star of the show who whips her hair around like a porn video and renders the 'working class' pit empty every time the show comes on.

 tspyz responded on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

Stratosphere. Also buys the nearby Olympic Gardens, and reroutes the SkyJump to allow guests to freefall directly into the VIP room.

 Misnomer responded on Tuesday, 23rd November 2010

Well, I was going to make a joke to the effect that Ruffin buys Paris and converts it into Paris, Texas, and then hangs a huge red cowboy hat from the top of the Eiffel Tower, but guess what?

 BigHoss replied on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

On holidays, oil shoots out the top.

 RockChickX51 responded on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

Ruffin buys the Bellagio - takes the nice chandeliers and game tables out. Replaces the chandeliers with the deer horn chandeliers, makes all the gaming tables out of some sort of animal hyde instead of green felt.
The Bellagio lake is Vegas StripSide Mudboggin!

 StudiodeKadent replied on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

Hate to be picky, but the felt at the Bellagio tables is a cream/beige color.

That said, gaming tables made of animal hide. Sounds kinky. Combine leather gaming tables with the black gator skin walls of Encore... cocktail waitresses in leather corsets.... Oh dear, I'm enjoying this description too much.

 blackjacker1979 replied on Saturday, 27th November 2010

In all fairness, the original felts at Bellagio were bright green with gold text. I miss those.

 jMollys responded on Wednesday, 24th November 2010

All the above sounds like Hooter's casino, and their 5 year plan.

They just need to add the "5-1 buffet electric scooter race."

Everybody rides.