tspyz posted on Friday, 27th August 2010 - 1:02 pm

Unsung Heroes of Las Vegas #17: The 24 Hour McDonald's Cashier.

At 4am, 24 hour Vegas McDonalds become an irresistable magnet for every overly-buzzed, Ed Hardy wearing, semi-hostile club denizen in the city. The unlucky cashiers that draw the short straw and get this shift cannot be paid enough. They have the language skills of a UN translator, able to understand the unique dialect of English spoken only after a long, hard night of Long Island Iced Teas. They need to be quick on their feet, dodging fries, ketchup packets, and whatever random purse contents those blonds in BCBG decided was funny to throw. Only world-class math and organizational skills can save you when your customers wander off to the bathroom for 30 minutes, return, and angrily demand the cheeseburgers that were bagged 25 minutes ago. (That they will then proceed to forget on the top of the Hello Kitty slot machine that draws their attention.)

"I didn't order this!" "I can't read this number, is my food ready yet?" "Did you poison this milkshake?" "Do you serve beer?" "You b*%&h, i told you NO PICKLES!!!" "Is my food ready yet?" "Can you make a really really really big hamburger?" "I waaannnnaaaa muffuddnndddgghhhttthha and two buggawuggggaaggguddddaaas"

It's not a pretty picture of humanity, but these hearty fast food warriors provide vital nutrition for Vegas's drunken, strobe-light addled army of the night.

We salute you!