Misnomer

She's a beaut, Clark. I've never stayed here, and I have no idea why. I love the fountains, the conservatory, the Chihuly flower sculpture...classy place. Great restaurants. Hmm, maybe it's because MGM never seems to throw me anything approaching a decent comp for this place. Bummer.

I like the smell here. Snnnnifff, mmmm parrot farts. Given its numerous celeb-chef helmed restaurants, one of the best pools in Vegas, a fantastic sports book, and a cool rock club, this place should be so much more than it is. Unfortunately, the sum of its parts is a noticeably neglected MGM Resorts International joint, just like the rest of 'em.

This place is what it would look like if they built a Disneyland in Paris! Wait, what? They did? Hmph. Well then it's nothing like that at all. But I still like the kitsch here. If you go, be wary of the big plastic Eiffel Towers that they fill with red slushy at Gustav's Bar. I heard a bartender admonish a customer that when condensation forms on this particular vessel, it gets slick and will slide down your hand and cut you with its sharp plastic edges. Sacre bleu!

Impossible not to love Derek Stevens' vision for this place. The former Fitz has been totally refreshed and features cheap drinks and low limits, with a friendly staff and a retro vibe. You'd have to try real hard not to have a good time here.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a terrace. Sure, there are occasional housekeeping issues here. Yes, there are packs of heel rats and boys with faux-hawks in filligreed t-shirts. But there's also a lot of great bars, lounges, and restaurants in a beautiful setting. I freaking love China Poblano. And room service on a private terrace overlooking Lake Bellagio is an experience unlike any other. Fave.

I won a monster $350 hand-pay jackpot on a Piggy Bankin' slot machine here, so this place will always hold fond memories for me. Plus, I got propositioned by a hooker who was wearing a mens Fruit of the Loom v-neck undershirt as her top. That was quite a night.

The center of dance music culture. Or whatever they call themselves now. Man, this used to be a classy joint. Pity.

Formerly a boxcar, downgraded to a deuce, thanks to the choking influx of d-bags here for XS and Surrender, not to mention Encore Beach Club. This place had a very brief run as the creme de la creme, before The Steve decided to alienate his elderly (read: over 30) customers and cater directly to the young and heavily leveraged.