The Lamest Shoe Boutique In Las Vegas
I never buy anything in Vegas. Well, booze of course. And chili dogs. Antacids, maybe. But I had never once availed myself of the myriad of shopping opportunities in the tourist corridor. So when my wife suggested I go buy myself something at The Cosmopolitan's sneaker boutique during a recent trip, I was surprised by my reaction - Yeah, why the heck not? I had just hit quad Aces at Book & Stage, and my pockets were flush with cash. Why not actually buy something tangible to take home for once, rather than just recycling the loot in the casino?
In recent times, I've kind of gotten into the retro Air Jordans that Nike has been reissuing. I wouldn't call myself a sneakerhead, but I keep up with the current releases, and I know the vernacular. So I headed up to Cosmo's second floor to check out CRSVR. That should've been my first warning. CRSVR is pronounced "crossover". They've just taken out the vowels, you see. That's a bad sign. Hipsters hate vowels. And sure enough, there were two hipster dudes standing behind the counter, talking to one another. Neither bothered to address me when I entered. The place was otherwise empty. Their inventory was pretty sparse. They had 3 different pairs of Jordans on display, but only one that I was kind of interested in. "Excuse me," I said, breaking up their conversation about fixed wheel bicycles (I'm guessing), "Do you have the Laney Ones in a 13?"
Pretty straight forward question, particularly when asked of an employee of a sneaker boutique. I wanted to know if they had the Air Jordan Retro 1s in the Laney colorway in a size 13. These blue and yellow shoes are an homage to Michael Jordan's High School basketball team, the Laney High Buccaneers. "Ladies?" exclaimed Hipster One, obviously clueless.
The second Son of a Mumford chuckled. "Ladies? You want ladies shoes?" They were staring at me, smirking, all beards and incredulity. Exasperated, I turned and left without saying another word. Whether or not I collect ladies shoes, the smellier the better, is no one's business but my own. But when your business is selling "limited edition sneakers" - as Cosmo's website espouses CRSVR does - shouldn't you have the first flipping clue what it is you're selling? Lame.
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